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Chris and i are now " just friends." I am now just more shocked than anything. It's going to be okay, I mean it's not too bad, I just don't know. I start crying sometimes. i don't know if it's because i feel bad or if it's because I haven’t had meds in a few days. It could be all of that combined with the stress of work, Chris, and the family life.
I could go into all the crap with my family, I mean my Mother is still trying to figure out why I don't get along with a lot of other people. She's been trying to figure that out for years and putting a diagnosis on me. I hate that, why can't I just be myself. I want my parents just to be happy with me, just the way I am. My father is the one who does, well kinda. The thing is, is that he overreacts to things. I hate that. Both of them do that. I just want to be myself around people too.
I mean from that is that I don’t want to have to act different around people. I do this to keep them from calling the “ charming young men in their clean white coats.” I mean why do I have to hide MOST of the crazy just to be on the fringes of society. I would rather be myself, doing what I want, what I do, and not worry about weather or not people care. That is why I hang with Audrey and Celina, they let me be my crazy neurotic self.
I hate the people at work, it’s got a high school mentality. I hated high school! People wonder why I never want to go back, just look around the place that I work. Aside from that there are people there that are too loud, I have had to turn around and tell people to shut up because I couldn’t hear someone on the phone. Yes, I work in a call center. It’s not as bad a retail, but the people that I work with, well some of them anyway, are idiots. I said this out loud to Celina yesterday in the break room. That’s when I had a break down. It was nice to let out all the crap I’ve been stuffing.
I could go into all the crap with my family, I mean my Mother is still trying to figure out why I don't get along with a lot of other people. She's been trying to figure that out for years and putting a diagnosis on me. I hate that, why can't I just be myself. I want my parents just to be happy with me, just the way I am. My father is the one who does, well kinda. The thing is, is that he overreacts to things. I hate that. Both of them do that. I just want to be myself around people too.
I mean from that is that I don’t want to have to act different around people. I do this to keep them from calling the “ charming young men in their clean white coats.” I mean why do I have to hide MOST of the crazy just to be on the fringes of society. I would rather be myself, doing what I want, what I do, and not worry about weather or not people care. That is why I hang with Audrey and Celina, they let me be my crazy neurotic self.
I hate the people at work, it’s got a high school mentality. I hated high school! People wonder why I never want to go back, just look around the place that I work. Aside from that there are people there that are too loud, I have had to turn around and tell people to shut up because I couldn’t hear someone on the phone. Yes, I work in a call center. It’s not as bad a retail, but the people that I work with, well some of them anyway, are idiots. I said this out loud to Celina yesterday in the break room. That’s when I had a break down. It was nice to let out all the crap I’ve been stuffing.
